SKYLINE News Briefing -26 April 2007

Have you ever struggled to understand how Engineers think?

Understanding Engineers - Take One

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

News Headlines

Alan Leong is dropped from Urban Renewal Authority
STAFF REPORTER , SCMP 25 April 2007
The new make-up of the Urban Renewal Authority was announced yesterday, with chief executive challenger Alan Leong Kah-kit failing to be reappointed to the board of directors.

K Wah bids HK$525m for Tuen Mun site
YVONNE LIU , SCMP 24 April 2007
K Wah International, a mid-tier developer run by gaming tycoon Lui Che-woo, has triggered a government auction of a low-density residential site in Tuen Mun.

Agents tip flats will go for HK$6,000 a sq ft
PEGGY SITO , SCMP 24 April 2007
The Kwun Tong redevelopment will set a new benchmark for housing prices in Kowloon East when it is completed in 12 years, according to property agents.

Greener Kwun Tong project goes to the planning board
AUDREY PARWANI , SCMP 24 April 2007
A redevelopment plan for Kwun Tong which boasts up to 30 per cent green space and with its plot ratio cut back to 7.5 has been submitted to the Town Planning Board.

Groups accused of backtracking on Queen's Pier
Una So, The Standard 23 April 2007
A harbor protection pioneer has accused the Hong Kong Institute of Architects and the Conservancy Association of backtracking in the fight to preserve Queen's Pier.

Battle looms over heritage building
Una So, The Standard 23 April 2007
A group of Sham Shui Po politicians is up in arms against a Correctional Services Department plan to redevelop a Victorian-style heritage building into staff quarters.

Middle Road Subway extension works gazetted
Hong Kong Government, 20 April 2007
The Government today (April 20) published in the Gazette the authorised Middle Road Subway extension works with modification, which will provide an underground pedestrian linkage connecting the Canton Road area to the Kowloon-Canton Railway Corporation (KCRC) East Tsim Sha Tsui Station.

Approved Tai Tam & Shek O Outline Zoning Plan referred back for amendment
Hong Kong Government, 20 April 2007
The Town Planning Board today (April 20) announced that the Chief Executive in Council had referred the approved Tai Tam & Shek O Outline Zoning Plan (OZP) to the Board for amendment.

Approved Yau Ma Tei Outline Zoning Plan amended
Hong Kong Government, 20 April 2007
The Town Planning Board today (April 20) announced amendments to the approved Yau Ma Tei Outline Zoning Plan (OZP).

Drainage and river works cut flooding black spots by 60pc
FOX YI HU , SCMP 20 April 2007
A multibillion-dollar drainage project has cut the number of flooding black spots in Hong Kong by 60 per cent, the Drainage Services Department said.

Activists fear wall effect in West Kowloon
JOSHUA BUT , SCNP 16 April 2007
A green group yesterday urged government departments to take a fresh look at the sites listed for sale in the application list system, as they might become "giant high-rises" in the future, further worsening air quality across the city.

Call to halt auction of prime sites
Fion Li, SCMP 16 April 2007
The government is under mounting pressure to change its building guidelines to reduce the health threat posed to residents by the "wall-like effects" of skyscrapers to be built in densely populated areas.

KCR service arrangements for Western Corridor Walk for Millions
MTR Press Release, 13 April 2007
The Kowloon-Canton Railway Corporation (KCRC) will strengthen the services of West Rail and Light Rail for the Hong Kong – Shenzhen Western Corridor Walk for Millions organised by The Community Chest on 15 April 2007 (Sunday).

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