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The philosophy of ambiguity.
We thought some of these were very clever...
1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
3. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
9. Is there another word for synonym?
10. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
11. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
12. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? are they afraid someone will clean them?
13. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
14. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
15. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
16. How is it possible to have a civil war?
17. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
18. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
19. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
20. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have "s" in it?
21. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
22. If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times do they become disoriented? |
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News Headlines
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| Hong Kong Government, 28 July 2009 |
The Civil Engineering and Development Department (CEDD) today (July 28) awarded a contract of about $350 million for Stage 1 infrastructure works at the Kai Tak north apron area.
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| Bonnie Chen, The Standard 29 July 2009 |
The first contract - worth HK$350 million - to build the infrastructure at the Kai Tak project has gone to the engineering firm Ove Arup & Partners Hong Kong.
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| Olga Wong, SCMP 25 July 2009 |
Confusion surrounds a project to redevelop Staunton Street after the Town Planning Board urged the government yesterday to consider shrinking the site to preserve five tenement buildings recently refurbished by owners.
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| Patsy Moy, The Standard 21 July 2009 |
A leading construction employers' group has agreed "in principle" to set up a minimum wage system to attract new blood in anticipation of a manpower shortage.
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| Amy Nip, SCMP 21 July 2009 |
The public has been invited to join a competition to find the best designs for a bridge that will become a Tseung Kwan O landmark.
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| Paggie Leung, SCMP 21 July 2009 |
The construction industry is considering offering fixed salaries to young recruits and increasing trainees' monthly allowances to attract workers.
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| Joyce Ng, SCMP 21 July 2009 |
Connecting with the community and paying attention to the content and programmes to be offered are the keys to designing the layout of the West Kowloon Cultural District, star architects appointed to the job say.
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| Joyce Ng, SCMP 21 July 2009 |
The Buildings Department approved 25 building plans in June - seven on Hong Kong Island, seven in Kowloon and 11 in the New Territories.
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| Hong Kong Government, 20 July 2009 |
The Civil Engineering and Development Department today (July 20) launched the “My Vision of Cross Bay Link” event to collect ideas and concepts from the public on the form, appearance and aesthetics of Cross Bay Link in Tseung Kwan O.
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| Hong Kong Government, 17 July 2009 |
The Town Planning Board today (July 17) announced amendments to the approved Mid-levels East Outline Zoning Plan (OZP).
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| Hong Kong Government, 17 July 2009 |
The Civil Engineering and Development Department today (July 17) invited tenders for site formation works for the Kai Tak Cruise Terminal Development.
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| MTR Press Release, 13 July 2009 |
The MTR Corporation today signed the Project Agreement with the HKSAR Government for the financing, design, construction and operation of the West Island Line (WIL) Project.
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| Joyce Ng, SCMP 11 July 2009 |
The Antiquities and Monuments Office has received 250 submissions from the public about the grading of historic buildings, with most disagreeing with the existing rankings.
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| Joyce Ng, SCMP 11 July 2009 |
An architect working for a leading property developer yesterday spoke out against government proposals to impose building design controls and cut back on the amount of extra floor space developers can earn by incorporating "green" features into their projects.
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| Albert Wong, SCMP 11 July 2009 |
Despite the expansion of Hong Kong Disneyland, approved by lawmakers yesterday, 60 hectares of reclaimed land could be left unused until 2029. The 5.1 hectare extension will take the park to 27.5 hectares - less than a quarter of the 125.4 hectares set aside for Phase 1 of the park.
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| Hong Kong Government, 8 July 2009 |
Following is a question by the Dr Hon Leung Ka-lau and a reply by the Secretary for Food and Health, Dr York Chow, in the Legislative Council today (July 8):
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| Hong Kong Government, 3 July 2009 |
The Government published a notice in the Gazette today (July 3) on modifications to the road works ancillary to Hang Hau Tsuen Channel at Lau Fau Shan. The works had been authorised by the Chief Executive in Council.
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| Hong Kong Government, 3 July 2009 |
The Government published a notice in the Gazette today (July 3) on the proposed Stage 2 works for widening of Tolo Highway/Fanling Highway between Island House Interchange and Fanling. The project aims to increase the capacity of the strategic road network to meet the future traffic demand generated by the increasing cross-boundary traffic and the population growth in the Northeast New Territories.
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| Hong Kong Government, 26 June 2009 |
The Town Planning Board today (June 26) announced amendments to the draft Tsz Wan Shan, Diamond Hill and San Po Kong Outline Zoning Plan (OZP).
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| Hong Kong Government, 29 June 2009 |
The Government today (June 29) announced the appointment of 20 people to the Land and Development Advisory Committee (LDAC) for three years from July 1, 2009 to June 30, 2012.
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| MTR Press Release, 29 June 2009 |
Following the public consultation on the Kowloon City Section, another series of activities will be held in Shatin District for people to learn more about the newly proposed Hin Keng Station which will be included in the gazette of the SCL.
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