Not all of SKYLINE's customers are quite this lacking in computer skills
This is a sample of real Computer Tech Support calls.
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has installed a screen saver on my computer Tech support: So what's the problem
Customer: Every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and h is printer is working fine."
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And last but not least...
Tech support:"Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
News Headlines
KCRC invites bidders for Tsuen Wan residential site YVONNE LIU , SCMP 14 September 2006 Kowloon-Canton Railway Corp will launch the tender process for its 255,106 square foot residential site in Tsuen Wan this week, boosted by the sale of a small site nearby which fetched a much higher than expected price on Tuesday.
Sun Hung Kai Properties (0016) won its second residential site in a month, fending off four rivals with a surprising bid of HK$53 million for a minor plot in Tsuen Wan at Tuesday's government land auction.
Tsuen Wan lot sold for $53 million at land auction Hong Kong Government, 12 September 2006 A government site was sold for $53 million at a public land auction held by the Lands Department this afternoon (September 12).
Lai Sun, AIG buy Wan Chai site YVONNE LIU , SCMP 8 September 2006 Lai Sun Development has made its first land purchase in Hong Kong in almost 10 years through a joint venture with AIG Global Real Estate Investment ( Asia ) to buy a residential site in Wan Chai for HK$595 million.
Marvin Cheung resigns from West Kowloon panel DENISE HUNG , SCMP 6 September 2006 Executive councillor Marvin Cheung Kin-tung has resigned from the consultative committee on West Kowloon cultural district for personal reasons, the government announced yesterday.
New appointments related to West Kowloon Cultural District Hong Kong Government Press Release, 5 September 2006 The Chief Executive has appointed the Hon Ronald Arculli as a member of the Consultative Committee on the Core Arts and Cultural Facilities of the West Kowloon Cultural District and the Convenor of the Financial Matters Advisory Group (FMAG) under the committee, following the resignation of the Hon Marvin Cheung from the committee and the FMAG for personal reasons. The Chief Executive has at the same time appointed Dr Peter Kwok and Mr Kevin Westley as members of the FMAG. The appointments came into effect today (September 5) and will last until the end of 2006.
MTRC plans switch over line funding Winnie Chong, The Standard 1 September 2006
MTR Corp has abandoned plans for a property development atop its future Kennedy Town station but is asking government permission to develop the former police quarters site in Ka Wai Man Road to fund its West Island Line.
Proposed Kai Tak density should be halved, Liberal Party says ROBIN KWONG , SCMP 1 September 2006 Residential and commercial density at the former Kai Tak airport site should be half what the government proposed, according to an alternative development proposal for the area unveiled by the Liberal Party yesterday.
Advisers hit out over 'hijacked' harbour plan CHLOE LAI , SCMP 28 August 2006 Two harbour advisers have demanded the government withdraw the Wan Chai development proposal and apologise for hijacking the issue. They warned that such practice had weakened the legitimacy of building the controversial Central-Wan Chai bypass.
More development restrictions on the cards YVONNE LIU , SCMP 16 August 2006
The Planning Department received 129 objections from developers and residents
after it introduced building height restrictions in Kowloon Tong earlier this year.
Photo: Ricky Chung
The Planning Department will speed up the process of imposing development controls across the city with plans to add development and buildings restrictions on six districts within the next six months.
The hotly contested `groundscraper' proposal in the government's blueprint for the Central waterfront was submitted by Hongkong Land, Central's largest landlord, in a move that effectively safeguarded harborviews for its adjacent developments, The Standard has learned.
Keep Kai Tak's identity, urges alliance Joyce Kam, The Standard 15 August 2006
Any redevelopment of Kai Tak and its nearby suburbs should take into account the area's distinct character and must not become just another homogenized urban development, a lawmaker says.
Fears Kwun Tong may become `isolated' hub Michael Ng, The Standard 12 August 2006
The Urban Renewal Authority should ensure the new Kwun Tong town center is redeveloped in tandem with adjacent districts so that it will not become an isolated regional hub in East Kowloon, Town Planning Board members said.
Henderson Land buys two sites in Wan Chai YVONNE LIU , SCMP 12 August 2006 Henderson Land , Hong Kong 's third-largest developer by market value, has bought two old buildings in Wan Chai for HK$825 million to boost the company's land bank.
The 600,000 people who either live, work or depend on Kwun Tong city center may have to wait at least another 12 years before they see completed changes to the decaying infrastructure that has been blamed for the area's poor sanitation, low community morale and crime.
High-rise office and hotel blocks with shops at lower levels will dominate Kwun Tong town centre after a decade-long redevelopment, Urban Renewal Authority managing director Billy Lam Chung-lun said yesterday.
KCRC plans to test market with residential project YVONNE LIU , SCMP 9 August 2006 Kowloon-Canton Railway Corp plans to test developers' interest in its HK$5.4 billion residential project in Tsuen Wan next month, a move that may run into competition with a MTR Corp project.
Tsuen Wan site on the block PEGGY SITO and YVONNE LIU , SCMP 9 August 2006 The government's second land auction for this fiscal year will feature just one site - and it is even smaller than the 24,000 square foot plot that went on the block last time.
Skyscrapers planned for Kwun Tong revamp CHLOE LAI , SCMP 8 August 2006 Kwun Tong's town centre will soar skywards when the run-down former industrial zone goes through its long-awaited urban renewal.
Sun Hung Kai wins Tuen Mun rail site tender FOSTER WONG , SCMP 4 August 2006 Sun Hung Kai Properties (SHKP), Hong Kong 's biggest property developer by market value, yesterday beat three rivals to win the right to develop a residential project at the Kowloon-Canton Railway Corp's (KCRC) Tuen Mun station that surveyors estimated could be worth HK$8 billion.
Sun Hung Kai Properties, Hong Kong 's largest developer by market capitalization, is the frontrunner to win a tender for an estimated HK$7 billion housing project atop West Rail's Tuen Mun station, sources said.
The government has hit back at an alternative vision for the site of the former airport at Kai Tak, unveiled by the leading pro-Beijing political party last month, saying it has found numerous "technical problems" in the plan.
Noise curbs bill looms for developers Leslie Kwoh, The Standard, 2 August 2006
A new government plan to tackle the territory's noise pollution could mean developers will have to dig into their pockets.
Upcoming Events
16 September 2006
Building Surveying Division Building Surveyors Conference on
"20 Year in Retrospect: The Prospects"
For further information, please contact Katherine Chow at (852)2372-0490 or email kat@creativegp.com, and click on the organizer to download the attachment
28 September 2006
Facilitation Seminar-"Learn how to leverage the knowledge and wisdom of groups"
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